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Halfwit Humor Chains
In the world of e-mail, sometimes it is hard to tell humor from fact, satire from news and urgent warnings from total BS. Halfwit Humor chain letters prove that, at least online, sometimes no joke is too obvious. Here are pieces of perhaps not-so-obvious humor that got mistaken for the real thing - perhaps because some are just so outrageous, we want them to be true, but most likely because they are so unfunny that we couldn't tell they were in jest.
The Chains (in alphabetical order by bolded keyword)
- Neil Armstrong and Mr. Gorsky?
KEYWORDS: True story, Neil Armstrong, moon, Mr. Gorsky, soviet cosmonaut
- Beer - The date rape drug
KEYWORDS: clubs, bars, sexual, predator, girls, sex
- Bonsai Kitten
KEYWORDS: animal cruelty, New York, Japan, glass bottle, Animal Protection Society
- George W. Bush has a low IQ
KEYWORDS: Pennsylvania Court Observer, Christina Borenstein, Lana Taamar, President, Lovenstein Instititute, intelligence quotient, IQ, Swanson/Crain
- Dame Edna Makes Racist Statements in Vanity Fair
KEYWORDS:
- Despair, Inc. Copyrighted :-(
KEYWORDS: emoticon, frowny, trademark
- The Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide
KEYWORDS: Toxic Chemical Alert, dihydrogen monoxide, DHMO, invisible killer
- Proof That Doctors are More Deadly Than Guns
KEYWORDS: physicians, accidental deaths, gun owners, accidental, gun, deaths, owners, doctor
- A Website Stores a Copy of Your Driver's License
KEYWORDS: Drivers License, Internet, picture, USA, privacy
- Man Sues Tom Ridge Over Duct Tape Incident
KEYWORDS: Duct Tape, Lawsuit, Tom Ridge, Americans, Steven J. Bosell, B & B Construction, Corona, California, Costco, Privates, George W. Bush, hospital
- Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey Puts Reporters in their Places?
KEYWORDS: R. Lee Ermey, History Channel, Mail Call, Drill Instructor, Full Metal Jacket, Marine Gunnery Sergeant, press conference, reporter
- Study Finds Fellatio Prevents Breast Cancer?
KEYWORDS: Women, fellatio, risk, breast cancer, doctors, study, B.J. Sooner, Hopkins, Inserta Shafteer, Journal of Medical Research
- The Infamous 'French Letter'
KEYWORDS: French Letter, boy, teacher, principal's office, translate, parents, army
- The Good Sex Chain Letter
KEYWORDS: Good Sex, skin, scientific tests, hot sex fairy
- Grandma Beats Up Security Guards
KEYWORDS: Grandma, airport, security guards, Ruth "grammy" Gordon, grandmother, assault, Bud Cort, Scott Ryan
- Windows' Haiku Error Messages
KEYWORDS: sony vaio
- Harry Potter Promotes Satanism
KEYWORDS: children's books, Barnes & Noble, Waldenbooks, Amazon.com, witchcraft, Craig Nowell, New Satanic Order, Black Circle, Cruciatus Curse, muggle, Hermione, Jessica Lehman, Rowling, The Onion
- American Idol's William Hung Died of a Heroine Overdose?
KEYWORDS: American Idol, Las Vegas, William Hung, Ricky Martin, heroin overdose
- Internet Cleaning Day
KEYWORDS: bots, jets, March 31, April 2, maintenance, Yuben T. Riked
- Microsoft Patents Ones and Zeroes
KEYWORDS: Bill Gates, Microsoft, patent, one, zero, royalty, binary system, Apple Computer, Netscape, Sun Microsystems
- Woman Dies From Mistaken Rapture
KEYWORDS: Arkansas city, little rock, mistaken rapture, Everet Williams, Georgann Williams, rapture Jesus, Paul Madison, toga, sex dolls, Ernie Jenkins
- Eddie Murphy, Michael Jordan and the Woman in the Elevator
KEYWORDS: quarters, Las Vegas, casino, black, white
- The Old Lady's Mystery Shopping Trip
KEYWORDS: Old lady, grocery store, dog food, container, ALT-8
- Palisades High School's Answering Machine Message
KEYWORDS: Pacific Palisades High School, California, teachers, parents, children, failing grades, absent, answering machine message
- Help Stop Passing Planes' Deadly Threat to Penguins
KEYWORDS: North Pole, penguins, penginues, birds, aircraft, british ariways, mysticpinkllama@hotmail.com
- Colin Powell's Snappy Comeback to an Iraqi Newshound
KEYWORDS: New York Post, Saddam, newshounds, Powell, Americans, Iraq, map, marines
- Donations to Save a Pet Rabbit's Life
KEYWORDS: savetoby.com, eat, pet rabbit, paypal
- Santa's Reindeer are Really Female
KEYWORDS: Reindeer, Alaska Department of Fish and Game, antlers, winter, male, female, santa, Rudolf, Blitzen, woman
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